Cleanliness is Next to Stupidity

Ok, so I walk in my room Friday after work and as I swing open the door, dust-bunnies go racing across the floor, the big one cinching 1st place at the carpet as the smaller one gets tangled in some shoelaces. Ok, no big deal, let's take stock of the situation here:
The tile floor has dust bunnies. What's good on dust? How about Lemon Scented Pledge?

Great on furniture, why not floors? But, I'm in a rush for dinner, so the dusting must wait.
Saturday morning, I go to work, then come home to the dust-bunnies. More of them! Geez, these things are like... rabbits? Sorry. The rest of the day is taken up by the orphanage and Casino night at the hooch. I drink two huge bottles of water and get beat out by the drunks anyway.

I come home at 11pm, and decide the floor can't wait. Without reading the can, I get out the Pledge and spray down the floor. Wow, this stuff works great! The boot marks are coming up easy and the dust bunnies are no more! Nice and shiny too!
I put the can back under the sink, then realize it's a little too Lemony in my room. Not a huge fan of huffing chemicals, I open the window to air the joint out. It gets a little chilly, so I throw on some socks and hit the sack.
The hours creep by as I lay, slumbering away. Midway through the night, I get up to ditch the bottled water. As I reach the tile floor in my socks, down I go in the dark. I laid there looking up at the ceiling, retracing my steps through the evening.


Why trouble myself with the fine print? Having never walked across furniture in my socks, I was not fully prepared to skate to my death, half asleep. I eventually got up and continued on my journey to the jon.

Sunday morning, as I chugged coffee and ached, I decided to re-visit the crime scene. I'd like to draw your attention to Exhibit A:


The chalkline of my dumb ass after the fall. Man that floor's got shine!
Photos By Tokyo Slim